Mindful Monday

September 17, 2017

Crucial Memory Habits

Hi, I’m _________. Quick, what are you thinking in this situation? What we do in that crucial first second of meeting someone will determine if we ever remember their name. So what are you thinking?

Maybe it’s I like her outfit, what a nice name, she has the same name as my sister, or even all those names start with S. I will always remember four ladies I just met because of what I did in the crucial first seconds of meeting them. But whatever your habit in these important first seconds, let’s use it to help our memories.

Continuing our #MemoryMakeover series, this week is all about our habits and how to use them to help with our memory goals.

Now that you’ve set your goals based on your memory frustrations as discussed last week, it’s time to dig in. Whatever our memory goals are, adjusting or creating new habits to help ourselves is a crucial component in achieving success.

Take remembering names for example. What we do in the split second when someone says their name is the key to whether we’ll ever remember it. Some of us may notice something visual about the person, (I like her outfit), how we like or dislike their name, or an association we have with the name (same as my sister, all start with S). Whatever we do, it’s information we can now use to help us remember.

How to create #memory #habits to reinforce & move forward on your #MemoryMakeover goals!

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I sat down at a table the other night with four women I’ve never met. I introduced myself as did they and while I may never see them again, I still wanted to remember their names. Over the last few years, I’ve created a habit to help me in this scenario. Recalling the habit loop, here’s the summary of how it went:

Cue that triggered the habit: me introducing myself

Habit Routine: pay attention, make connections & repeat aloud

Reward: remembering all their names.

Here are the details: I introduced myself first. (Cue) As they introduced themselves, I quickly thought of something useful. (Routine) The first one had the same name as my sister, the next had the same name as my aunt, and the third had a name I liked. But they also all began with the letter S. Then the fourth woman’s name began with L as did two of my friends sitting with us. Suddenly, there was so much information to connect these women with their names! I then repeated them (an important component of my habit routine and great memory technique). Today, I still remember their names. (Reward) This was all made possible by creating a habit.

So your #MemoryMakeover homework this week is:

Evaluate & adjust or create habits related to your MemoryMakeover goal(s). What habits might need adjusting or deleting? Maybe a new habit needs to be created to help toward your goal(s). Think of your memory frustration and how it bothers you. What habit can you create, change or delete which would help alleviate or ease that frustration and help progress toward your goal? Now, write down the new or adjusted habit and practice, practice, practice.

Here’s an example of a #MemoryMakeover so far:

Frustration-not remembering many people’s names

Goal-remember the names of those important to you and potentially new people you meet.

Habit change or addition-pay close attention when meeting new people and write down and repeat names of those important to you.

A crucial step toward a better memory in any scenario is to create habits. Habits will be a recurring theme each month in this series. Let’s identify what habits can help with our #MemoryMakeover goals then begin implementing them to ease our memory frustrations!

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August 27, 2017

Let Go & Share

What’s your biggest strength? We all have skills, talents and strengths. The question is, are we using them to the best of our ability? To wrap up our month long series on letting go, it’s time to let go and share our strengths, talents, and abilities.

You may think you don’t have any special skills or talents, but that’s not true. We all have unique gifts, strengths, talents, abilities-whatever you want to call it. We use them all the time, whether we know it or not. Think about what you’re comfortable doing, saying, or helping others with-these are your talents and gifts.

When I was in middle school, I’d typically get home before my mom did from work. Often she’d ask me to prep dinner to make mealtime easier and less hectic. She gave me tips or I’d follow her recipes in the beginning. But soon, I learned to wing it, improvise and tweak what she told me. I figured out my favorite way to clean chicken before baking it. I added additional ingredients to her meatball recipe, then created my own. Before I knew it, my love for cooking was born.

I never realized I liked to cook until she asked and taught me. Now, I love to read recipes and cookbooks, but I rarely follow one without some added embellishment on my part. It’s just how I cook. It’s similar to speaking in front of others. I was never comfortable with it until someone asked me and I tried.

This holds true for many of our talents and abilities. We love and are good at them because we first tried, often at someone else’s request. Now it’s time to let go (even just a little) to what we’re good at to pass that knowledge and love onto someone else.

When we let go of our knowledge by sharing it with someone else, we are sharing some of the best parts of ourselves. Whether it’s family, friends, clients, a mentee or even a stranger, letting go of what we love can be instrumental in helping and shaping someone else’s life. My mom requesting help with dinner may have seemed like a chore some days, but it taught me to appreciate a great life skill. It’s one I’m passing along to my children now, too.

We all have skills & talents-see why it’s important to let go & share them. #Mind #wellness

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What skill, talent or strength can you let go of and share with someone else? Here are a few questions to get us started on what to let go of and share with others:

What do we need help with? Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, a work or leisure project, often we could use help in some area. We know what we want and have a talent for creating it, but letting go and allowing others to help allows us to share our expertise while gaining needed assistance at the same time!
What do we love? When we love something, learning something new about it isn’t work, it’s enjoyable. It stretches our brains and improves our abilities. Sharing knowledge about something we love with those who are interested is one of the best ways to let go while gaining something too. Not only will we help others learn something new, we strengthen our brains by experiencing it through them. It’s a win-win situation!
What do we want to pass on? Whether it’s a family recipe, heirloom, life lesson, wisdom or meaningful memento, there are things that mean something to us in this life. Keeping them to ourselves never allows its meaning to be shared with others. If it’s important to us, then it may be important to share. Stop holding onto something that could be just as if not more meaningful to others. Let go, share the significance and pass it on. Do it now before life changes, because we are never guaranteed another moment.

Letting go and sharing our expertise, our talents, strengths or even our life mementos is important, not only for us but for others in our lives we care about. Let go and share to keep making all your moments memorable!

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August 20, 2017

How to Clear the Clutter

Do you have a closet like mine? You know the one-filled with everything you want to save? Most of us have closets or places where we put the stuff we want or feel the need to keep for the future. But do we ever find or use these items again? This week in our monthly series on letting go it’s time to clear our clutter, both physically and mentally.

What I find precious or worth saving isn’t always what others may agree is significant. Some of it is important and needed-vital papers, precious photos or mementos. Other things…maybe not so much. Some are organized well and I know exactly where to find these crucial items. But others are a bit more haphazard.

It’s not only a physical disorganization, either. I have ideas, concepts, and plans whirling around in my head that need a semblance of direction as well. Both this physical and mental disarray has been weighing on me for good reason.

I educate and encourage clients and the public on the importance of being organized to help mind and memory. For the most part, I heed my own advice. But then there’s that closet. I’ve been so focused on sharing this message that in some ways, I’ve neglected following it.

But no more.

Over the last few days, I’ve done some mental reorganizing. I took a day off and mentally organized future plans. It was needed and I’m so happy I took the time to do it. Now I just need to physically let go of what isn’t needed and clear the rest of the clutter.

It’s like I tell my children: clean as you go. When we do this, we make room for the new. New ideas and new physical items, if needed, are sometimes more useful and/or beneficial for our lives moving forward.

If all we keep is the old, that’s all we’ll ever have. Let’s let go of what isn’t working, viable, or desirable for our future to make room to breathe, grow and move forward, physically and mentally.

We all have reasons to hold onto something. If so, by all means, keep it. But if an idea or physical item is no longer worth something emotionally or physically, then let’s let it go. Letting go often includes soul searching decisions to release ideas, things or plans we once had. It can be difficult at times to make these choices. But when we do, we lighten our load both mentally and physically.

Here are a few questions I’m going to use when cleaning out my closet (and my mind) to determine what to keep or let go:

Is it valuable and viable? If it has sentimental or monetary value, should I keep it and why? Does it still work (if applicable)? If not, toss it or fix it to save.
What’s the plan? If I keep it, is it for the future, to use for a project or hold onto for a reference? Determine the purpose and plan for each item. If using for a project, add the project to your list. If it seems like you’ll never get to that project, delegate it or seriously consider letting it go.
How can I organize it? Things saved for the future belong in a labeled storage item. Items to be used in a project should be organized accordingly (i.e. all pics/mementos from one trip filed together for the scrapbook project). Organize it well and you’ll know where to find it later.

When we clear out the clutter in our lives and minds of what isn’t necessary or needed, we make room for the ideas and things that are. There’s less to remember and we know exactly where to find what we do keep. It allows us to move forward while still honoring the memories and mementos of the past.

When we clear the clutter from our lives & minds we make room for our future. #mind #wellness

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So, are you with me? Let me know how you’re letting go this month with a comment or join the conversation on Facebook. I’ll update you on my progress and hope you’ll share yours too! Let’s let go, clear the clutter and free ourselves for the future!

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August 13, 2017

Getting Uncomfortable

I schedule my free time.

It’s an oxymoron to schedule or plan free time. It’s supposed to be free as its name implies. But for an organized planner like me, it works. On a big vacation where I planned many things in advance to ensure we’d fit them in, I also knew we needed time with nothing planned. So I scheduled it.

My free-spirited friends laughed at me. That’s not how it works, it defeats the purpose of free time, they chastised. But for me, it was an acknowledgment of knowing I needed to be more flexible and that’s how I did it.

Are you a planner or do you tend to go with the flow? Does the calendar or clock rule your day or do your feelings dictate your schedule? We tend to find comfort in one of two camps-organized planners or free-spirited improvisers. Regardless of which camp you’re in-both types should let go of natural dispositions and try out the other campground occasionally.

Continuing our month of letting go, this week we’re going to get uncomfortable. It’s time to step out of our comfy, natural styles to experience the other side of life. In our MemoryMinders programming, we discuss learning styles and left brained and right brained tendencies. We help our clients learn where their strengths lie because they can use this to help their mind and memory wellness.

But these strengths can also become a crutch. We get so used to doing things the comfortable way, using familiar routines, that we can lose sight of attempting the uncomfortable. Life should be enjoyed, yes, but we also need to learn and grow daily. It’s important to use our strengths, but it’s also imperative we stretch ourselves.

Striving to improve areas of weakness, trying new or different things and stepping into our discomfort causes our brain cells to stretch and grow. This, in turn, strengthens the cognitive reserve and neuroplasticity we need to withstand age-related or disease-related brain changes which occur as we age.

Step into what’s uncomfortable and stretch your mind! #memory #wellness

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So how do we do let go of comfortable?

For the organized planner, it means being more flexible (or even scheduling in some free time!) For the free-spirited improviser, it entails planning or sticking to a schedule. I love being organized. But sometimes, going with the flow and abandoning the schedule for spontaneity stretches me. For my free-spirited friends, planning and sticking to an itinerary pushes their buttons but also grows their brains.

How can you let go of comfortable this week? Send me a comment or chime into the conversation on Facebook or Twitter, I’d love to hear from you!

Stretch your brain and enjoy stepping into the uncomfortable by trying something new or strengthening a weakness. Not only will you learn something new, but you’ll see how the other camp lives and strengthen your brain simultaneously!

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August 6, 2017

Letting Go

None of us are perfect. We are all human making multiple mistakes daily. Yet we chide ourselves when not perfect. Why?

Is it because we don’t look like, can’t remember or do something like we used to? Working with older adults and watching loved ones age, I remind them it’s okay to let go of some of these youthful or perfect expectations. But do I? Often times, no.

This month I’m focusing on letting go on my other blog and also here. This week, let’s discuss letting go of perfect and/or unrealistic expectations.

A good analogy is playing golf. Jack Nicklaus recently described how he now plays from a more forward tee box when playing golf. Even one of the greatest golfers knows he cannot hit it as far as he once did. Yet many of us know other golfers still trying to play from where they did twenty years ago! I wonder how frustrated they become when they can’t golf the same as twenty years earlier?

Time and age change us and we aren’t perfect. So why do we get down on ourselves when we cannot perform as we once did or when our bodies and minds change over time? Please understand, I advocate for doing everything we can to live healthy by utilizing wellness and memory habits to assist us. That is the heart of MemoryMinders. But if we sometimes can’t remember a name or do something as well or as fast as we did twenty years ago, it can be okay.

Letting go of perfect leads to being healthier in body & mind. #wellness

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I’m learning this too as I age. My 50-year body is not the same as my 20-year-old body. Yet sometimes, I expect it to look or function the same. That’s just plain unrealistic. But it’s how I feel. I’ve chided clients and loved ones for not using physical or mental assistive devices to help. They don’t want to use the walker, hearing aids or memory techniques. In their mind, they want to still function as they did years earlier. I understand as I do too, but I also try to help them be realistic.

Being realistic means understanding things are not the same as they once were and that can be okay. Yes, our bodies and minds may not function like they once did, but there are things, people, and programs to help.

Here are a few ways to shift our perspective off of perfect and unrealistic to healthy and accepting:

Don’t think of what you can’t do, but what you can do to help with what you can’t. (Use assistive devices, utilize mental and physical programs, make lifestyle changes etc.)
Use your strengths to help your weaknesses. (i.e.-if forgetful, learn techniques within your strengths to help and/or if physical issues arise, think about how can you either improve function or utilize assistance to help.)
Shift your focus. Instead of lamenting our plight when things don’t go our way, learn from what’s occurred to avoid, prevent, or at least try to improve for the future.
Be proactive. This is the most important point and the cornerstone of our mission here at MemoryMinders. We all know many of the things we should be doing for our mind and body wellness but often don’t execute on them for whatever reason. Stop that cycle now. Choose to do one thing, then another to help. Be realistic and keep steadily putting one foot in front of the other.

Last week on the blog, we discussed where we are on life’s climb. Whether it’s eating healthy, exercising mind and body or other lifestyle habits we can choose, it’s about offense instead of defense. It’s easier to consistently eat well and not gain 20 extra pounds than it is to try and lose them. It’s easier to keep our minds sharp now than try to regrow brain cells and relearn previously known things.

Let’s be honest and realistic. We aren’t perfect and we’re still climbing either uphill or downhill in life. Move forward in a proactive way by letting go of unrealistic and perfect and choosing to enjoy life in a healthy and accepting manner. This positive approach can literally change us, physically and mentally.

But only if we let go and choose well.Save

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Crucial Memory Habits

Let Go & Share

How to Clear the Clutter

Getting Uncomfortable

Letting Go

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