Change is part of life. Some change we have control over and some we do not. What is important especially for our aging memory, is navigating change and its impact.
Change evokes stress and stress impacts memory. Ever been in a stressful situation and felt forgetful? Or been mentally scattered in the middle of a big change? Even in positive stress situations like planning a wedding, our brain feels stress. But research demonstrates while the mechanisms differ, both acute and chronic stressful situations cause our brain to reallocate resources to what’s most important. Instead of remembering all the things, our brains choose what’s most important in that moment. The result is an increased inability to form or retrieve memories while stressed.
So how do we go about navigating change and its impact? In my life and as I’ve helped others, I’ve found two main steps:
- Manage what we can control
- Learn about what we cannot control
Manage the Change
Let’s break these down. I repeat myself with my adult children about taking care of themselves since they are the only ones who truly can. This means managing everything-their health, faith, finances, and logistics of their lives. Whether young or old, we may feel like managing our lives, especially change, leaves us little to no control. While often true , we always have control over our own attitude and actions. I teach this over and over in presentations on attitude, stress, and memory. Not only will a poor attitude impact our actions negatively, it will also impact our memory negatively as noted above.
Controlling our attitude and actions is an ongoing and not always easy choice. No one who receives a negative diagnosis, mourns a loved one, or realizes significant life change has a positive attitude. When unexpected change comes, we need to reflect and process. But to navigate what’s next, we need to manage what is controllable. It may feel like we have no control, but we do, including understanding our attitude and communicating what’s needed to navigate the change.
Small steps matter and are integral along the way. The longer we feel we have no control, the more negative the stress and its impact becomes. These small choices may feel like not enough, but small steps still move us forward. Managing what we can control, even if it’s in our own attitude and thoughts changes our trajectory. Doing this allows us to think, communicate, and act in positive ways.
Learn About the Change
Still, much change in life is out of our control. I remember as a young nurse, listening to older colleagues lament change and wish for how things used to be. I recall thinking how complaining hindered them from learning new things and moving forward. It’s a lesson to remember as I age, too. Whether change is good, necessary, or wanted doesn’t always factor in and occurs outside of our control. But just like we always control our attitude and actions, we can always learn from and about change, especially when it isn’t our choice.
Learning new things feels uncomfortable but is healthy for our brains and memory. We don’t need to love, like, or even desire change, but learning about it allows us to understand and navigate it better. If we simply lament our plight, long for the status quo or another option, we’ll miss an opportunity to better ourselves and/or the changing situation.
Yet it’s easier said than done, especially as we age. The best way to learn is to ask questions and keep asking until we understand. As we learn, we gain more control. Then we make informed decisions and act in a healthy way. We may not like it, but learning and understanding change exercises our brain and memory to then act in a less stressful environment.
Navigating change and its impact on our brain, memory, and lives isn’t something we always enjoy. But if we learn to manage what we can control and learn about what we can’t, we minimize stress, help our memory, and ultimately improve our quality of life.